ABCs For Cool People
by TheOwlAndTheOcean
Summary: 26 short stories that explain the alphabet in a way that only the cool people will understand- Like me, and you.
1. A is for Anticipation

_**Disclaimer- Hey sorry, it's been forever but you know what it's like when you're trying to take over all of the anime companies in the world...  
Yeah, I still don't own anything... I suck.**_

I'm waiting for the day. The day when someone can walk down the streets and not fear the wrath of a Kishin. The day when we can reclaim what was once ours. The day when a witch is forced to hide in fear, not walk in plain daylight without soul protect. The day when we can fight back against the kishin's push. Because who doesn't want freedom and peace? So I anticipate the day we kill the Kishin Asura.


	2. B is for BlackStar

_**Disclaimer- I don't own Soul Eater.**_

What is my opinion on BlackStar you ask? Well he's my friend of course. My midget, idiotic, loud, obnoxious friend. Sure he has his moments where I really do want to slice him into itty bitty bits or put a bullet in his head but he's my friend. He's outgoing and entertaining and thinks a little (too) highly of himself and he's my friend. Sure he has bad timing and can't ever stay still and maybe isn't the smartest yet still he's my friend. And I don't care that he's known Maka longer than I have. He's my best friend. Why would I be jealous? Should I be jealous? The way they wrestle and tease each other like they're the best of friends. WE'RE the best of friends! Why won't she wrestle with me?! What happened to the bro code, man? Not cool! I don't go hanging off Tsubaki! I'm supposed to be closest to her! She's my technician. She's MINE!

I still swear I'm not jealous of BlackStar.


	3. C is for Cat

**_Disclaimer- So I don't own this (just the story guys, not the characters) at all... It kinda makes my want to cry._**

When people say, "what is your biggest fear?" they expect an answer like "the dark" or "spiders" or even at least something like "bugs." What they expect is most certainly not "My pet cat." because, seriously? Why would you be afraid of your very own pet? Well, unless your cat has magical powers and shoves her boobs in your face... don't judge me. Because yes, I most certainly do cower in fear whenever I see Blair, and I'm even more petrified when I can't. And I'm just sayin', you should be too.


	4. D is for Death

_**:Disclaimer: EEP! I know this was meant to be up yeasterday but... Here it is! Don't own Soul Eater btw.**_

When someone says "Death" you think of a hooded figure dressed in grey holding a scythe and ready to watch you die, don't you? But you don't expect a guy with an annoying voice and a personality to match who wears a childish mask and a bizarre cloak, I bet. Well that's him. He who fights the forces of evil. Lord Death. Whose most deadly attack is a reaper chop that could send you to China. He's and all-round nice guy unless you piss him off actually.

Surprised? Yeah, I thought so.


	5. E is for Easter

_**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Soul Eater either- STOP MAKING ME SAY IT!**_

"SOUL!" the door burst off its hinges and smashed against the opposite wall. "YOUR GOD BLACKSTAR DEMANDS YOUR PRESENCE!"  
Maka's spoon fell into her cereal and her jaw banged on the dining table. I raised my eyebrows and said, "Say what you want right now or I'm gonna send your ass to hell..."  
"Hey bro."  
I stood and BlackStar swallowed at my murderous face. "Uh. I had a...thought."  
"World first." I growled.  
"U-uh...seeming as it's Easter... You wanna go on a hunt to find the Easter bunny and take all his chocolate with me...?"  
"... Get the hell out of my apartment."  
He sighed, "Okay." and left.

He hadn't been quite right since I bashed him when he asked for help to mug Santa Clause.


	6. F is for Father

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Soul Eater and I apoligise in advance for the language.**_

According to Soul, Spirit was a douche-bag.  
According to Spirit, Soul was a pre-pubescent boy whom he did NOT trust to live with his daughter.  
According to Soul, Spirit was a creepy old man who gave his daughter underwear as presents.  
According to Spirit, Soul was a freak with octopus hair.  
According to Soul, Spirit was a clingy, womanizing ass who had a reputation for disloyalty.  
According to Spirit, Soul was only trying to impress Maka by jumping in front of Crona's sword.  
According to Soul, Spirit knows jack-shit about what happened there and should really shut up before Soul does it for him.


	7. G is for Gossip

_**Dislcaimer- I don't own Soul Eater, at all!**_

Soul didn't like rumours. They were annoying, untruthful and if you listened to them, you were screwed. Especially if you brought an interesting one up before Maka. Say it was one about the relationship between Soul and herself.  
"I-I'm sorry, WHAT exactly, did you just say?!"  
"THAT'S RIDICULOUS! I-It's not like that!"  
"I DO NOT! Say that ever again and Lord Death won't even be able to revive you!"  
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE?!' NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN SOUL EATER EVANS!"  
"MAKAAAA CHOP!"


	8. H is for Hell

_**Disclaimer- Okay, I'm sorry for being really sucky at updating recently so I'm going to make it up to you by posting a few extra chapters today! BTW, I DON'T OWN SOUL EATER! (seriously, do i have to repeat it again?...)**_

Did you know insanity comes in waves? It's funny really. I don't know why. Everything's funny now I guess. Though Maka used to like to unfunny things. She doesn't anymore. Now she laughs with me. She laughs when I slide into things with a hilarious noise. Life is so funny.

_**'MAKA! STOP THIS! YOU'RE STRONGER THAN IT!'**_  
A giggle,  
_**'MAKA-!'**_  
_She cuts me off with a laugh,  
It's soaking past my shoulders, the black blood. My neck now. My face, choking me, turning me crazy. I can't hold it off. It's burning through my soul. Erasing any rational thought. I may no longer feel pain outside but inside I am on fire. A burning strength running through Maka makes her stronger. And my soul rattles with anticipation. It's psychotic outside. But in my head is the real hell._

"Hey Maka, do you know where hell is? It's in our head..."


	9. I is for Innocent

_**Disclaimer- Okay, I'm sorry for being really sucky at updating recently so I'm going to make it up to you by posting a few extra chapters today! BTW, I DON'T OWN SOUL EATER! (seriously, do i have to repeat it again?...)**_

Not much is innocent these days. Not BlackStar. Not Liz and Patty. Not me. In fact it's hard to name anything that is truly innocent. That hasn't seen the blood of the dead or light of battle. That hasn't sinned or broken any laws. There are too many things to name that make innocent people...not. They may have prowled streets acting like thugs or they may have been guilty by association. They may be insane. It's difficult to find a person who is innocent. I managed to find her though.


	10. J is for Joke

_**Disclaimer- Okay, I'm sorry for being really sucky at updating recently so I'm going to make it up to you by posting a few extra chapters today! BTW, I DON'T OWN SOUL EATER! (seriously, do i have to repeat it again?...)**_

"Haha! That was the funniest thing I've ever seen!"  
"Soul, can you please drop it?" Maka whined from behind me. I turned around and grinned at her, "Of course I can't...it's your fault for-"  
"Please don't bring that up..." she moaned.  
"Why? Saying something like that to a pervy old man like your dad was totally going to be misinterpreted." I laughed, "besides...the look on his face was so hilarious...it was all red and embarrassed and-"  
"Soul..."  
"The only bad thing was he looked like he was gonna kill-"  
"Soul..."  
"Hey Maka, I've got a joke for you...so this girl with no tits walks into school a-"  
"MAKA-CHOP!"


	11. K is for Killer

_**Discliamer: I'm sorry that this has taken so long and I'm sorry again cause I'm going n HIATUS for a month, so I'll leave you with these. I don't own Soul Eater. sorry.**_

She's a killer, that Albarn. With her perfect smile, lean body, a temperament that can kill (literally) and those _legs_. She's my best friend. She's smart too... And strong. Who knew that brilliant green eyes and ashy blond hair could be put together to look so fierce, yet so amazing? She doesn't realize how the boys around her stop just to watch her pass; their jaws on the floor. She doesn't realize that when she trains that the torturous piece of fabric she calls a skirt... It goes damn high. She doesn't know the effect she (and those _legs_) has on the entire male population of Shibusen.  
Yeah, Maka is a killer.


	12. L is for Love

_**Discliamer: I'm sorry that this has taken so long and I'm sorry again cause I'm going n HIATUS for a month, so I'll leave you with these. I don't own Soul Eater. sorry.**_

The topic of love is not one I'm familiar with. I know, a cool guy like me should get all the ladies... And I have plenty of offers... But they're all wrong. I don't want them. It's a topic that I don't have much experience with. Because why lead a person on when you don't love them? When you love someone else? I'm just waiting for her to love me too.


	13. M is for Mirror

_**Discliamer: I'm sorry that this has taken so long and I'm sorry again cause I'm going n HIATUS for a month, so I'll leave you with these. I don't own Soul Eater. sorry.**_

Whenever he looked in a mirror he saw a monster...  
Blood red eyes standing out against crisp white hair like blood on snow.  
Pointed teeth, sharp enough to cut flesh and a devils smirk.  
Only enhanced with the knowledge of the chaotic black blood pumping under his skin...  
He was a terrifying sight to behold.  
He scared most people.  
Sometimes he even scared himself.  
But not Maka... No; he never scared her.


End file.
